The Strength of Vulnerability

I walked the Camino de Santiago, the centuries-old Catholic pilgrimage in northern Spain, for a very specific reason. While I had wanted to walk the Camino for about 15 years, and it was only when my 12-year marriage was ending that I decided it was time to go for that long walk. A 500-mile walk to be precise.

Since I am a screenwriter and filmmaker, I felt I would be remiss if I did not bring my camera along to capture my journey. Even as I lugged the extra weight across a country, I wasn't sure if anything was going to come of all the filming beyond a video diary for myself.

I ultimately decided to share my experience in a documentary after I returned home and reviewed the raw footage. I watched a conversation I had which seemed to leave an impact on the other person. I realized that by sharing my story with him, he was able to see that he was not alone and he walked away thinking about things in a new way. I figured that perhaps others could be helped by witnessing me get over this heartache and trying to achieve forgiveness. I had already endured the pain, so I figured I should turn it into something good and try to help others.

Opening up to each other on the Camino.

Thus, “A Way to Forgiveness” was made and released into the world. The response to my documentary has been overwhelming and humbling. I have been approached by audience members who say, “thank you for being so vulnerable and honest.” In the film, I am extremely open about the pain of the divorce I was going through and I didn't hold back much of my experience.

I have been thinking a lot about the word “vulnerable” as I have had viewers respond in kind – with openness of their own as they share their stories with me. As I am wont to do, I looked up vulnerable in the dictionary as I continued to ruminate on this idea. I was taken aback as I read the words “susceptible to attack or harm.” And further, the thesaurus presented synonyms of “weak,” unsafe,” “sucker,” and “insecure.”

A bad day on the Camino that is featured in the film.

I realize opening up about my journey searching to find a way to forgive my former husband and find a way out of the hole of depression is not a choice every person would make. But contrary to the synonyms in the dictionary, I feel there is strength in sharing my story. Further, I don't feel like I'm opening myself up to harm. And surely, people who commend this vulnerability are not meaning to call me a sucker.

There's a saying on the Camino that “everyone walks their own Camino.” We are all going the same way but we each have our own experience. Along the way, we bond as pilgrims in search of something. As we let our guard down and invited each other into our stories, we connected in strong ways.

Bonding as we walk. The Camino provides good friends and laughter.

This is the same in life in general, we're all going through life together but on our own journey. And if we can just be brave enough to be share a bit of ourselves in complete honesty, that is how we genuinely relate with others along the way. If we have the courage to let our walls down and let someone in, that is where the beauty of human connection resides.

Based on the responses of audiences, I am not alone the in seeing the strength in being vulnerable. Letting audiences in on my own quest for forgiveness has given them the opportunity to reflect on forgiveness in their own lives. Viewers have sought me out to share themselves and give me a glimpse into their own stories. It has been so moving to connect with people in such a deep and truthful way.

If you dare to vulnerable, you can watch “A Way to Forgiveness” online or on DVD. Visit http://awaytoforgiveness.weebly.com/watch-the-film.html